Lucas

Dear RoomSponsor,

When I was growing up, I lived with my mum and my dad. Living with my mum was lovely. I don’t blame her for anything that’s happened.

My dad, on the other hand, was a different story. It wasn’t so nice living with him. He was abusive towards me, my mum and my brother. Verbally and physically. He’d do things like force us to eat food when we didn’t want to. I remember there being a lot of violence, even when I was really young. We just accepted it like it was normal.

My mum did try to leave him a couple of times, but she kept coming back because she was promised things would change. I guess we all did different things to deal with the abuse at home. I tried to distract myself by hanging out with friends, but I got involved with the wrong people.

When I was around 16 or 17, everything went a bit pear-shaped. My mates would try to give me drugs and tell me to try it just to see what it was like. Me being young, I thought everything was a laugh and a joke. The rest was history really, because I got addicted to drugs and alcohol.

I found myself in a bad routine I couldn’t break. Every week, I’d work Monday to Friday, but as soon as I’d finish work I’d go out drinking and doing drugs. That was my coping mechanism. I tried playing football, but every time I went to play football I had to take drugs first. That was the only way I’d be able to do anything. It gave me energy and confidence, because without it I’d have shut myself away and not spoken to anyone.

When my family found out, they couldn’t have me at home. My mum had finally left my dad by this point and I had a new step-dad. He already had a young daughter of his own. So, it wasn’t fair to have drugs in the house or for me to be around her.

At the time, it was right for them to do that. To kick me out to protect her. But because I was shut off from my family, I found myself sofa surfing for two years. It was a really hard time for me.

I ended up living in a few different places. Sofa surfing, hostels, temporary accommodation. My life felt chaotic, and my mental health was suffering. I realised I was homeless. That was when I found YMCA.

When I first arrived, I was staying in YMCA emergency NightStop accommodation. These are beds for young people who would otherwise be sleeping on the streets. I tried to behave myself – I was cooking in the kitchen and proving that I could change. YMCA was then able to offer me a room in their supported accommodation. They gave me a real chance.

One day, I called my mum on the phone and had a long chat with her. My brother had told her that because I was addicted to drugs and alcohol, I couldn’t see my nephew. That hit me really hard. That was a turning point for me, I knew it all needed to stop. I needed to stay in contact with my family so I went cold turkey.

It wasn’t all smooth sailing. One night the police were called on me because I was really suicidal. Thankfully, my YMCA support worker Dale had been helping me access mental health services and fought my corner with them so they’d listen to me. It was at that point I was told I had Borderline Personality Disorder.

A big thing for me was just being able to understand my own mental health, and how it had affected my behaviour over the years. Once I got that diagnosis, that’s when I started to see a change in myself. I can talk about how I’m feeling a lot more now. I never used to talk, but now I talk all the time. If something’s wrong, I know can always phone Dale.

I have better hobbies now too. I go to church every Sunday. It was something I’ve done since I was young and I’m glad I’ve got back into it. I sing at church, as well as helping out with sound and production. Everyone has been really welcoming to me there.

Today, I’m clean from the drugs and I don’t drink anymore. Best of all – I’ve got my family back.

I’ve got my brother back, my nan, grandad, stepdad, mum. I’ve got them all back now because they’ve seen how far I’ve come. My nan even started crying to me one time, saying that she can’t thank members of YMCA staff enough for what they’ve done for us and how they never gave up.

I just want to say thanks to you for reading this and for being a YMCA RoomSponsor. Your support has meant I’ve had the stability of a safe place to live so I could start healing from the difficult years I’d experienced. I can now look forward to a positive future.

Best wishes,

Lucas

YMCA Resident