Hello, I’m Ally

Dear Roomsponsor,

I am Ally and I recently turned 18. I’ve not been staying at YMCA long but I wanted to tell you my story so you can see what a difference your support has made to my life this year.

When I was much younger I was really close with my mum, but then drugs got in the way. To be honest during those early years both my mum and dad were on drugs and this was really difficult for me and my sisters to deal with. Their drug use was upsetting enough, but the other people that used to come into the house to buy or use drugs were really scary. It’s hard for me to understand why my parents put me at risk in this way.

After my parents split up I spent most of my childhood living with my dad, but sadly he died when I was just 15. This was completely devastating to me. I was so crushed. He’d been the closest person to me for a long time. He wasn’t well, it was mainly due to alcohol and drug use. It wasn’t his fault and he didn’t deserve it, but it happened. This was a really hard time for me and I couldn’t believe he was gone.

Around the same time, I was finally able to admit something that had happened to me. I had never told anyone, but I was sexually abused as a child for about 5 years by a family friend. I didn’t feel like I could tell anyone as it was a time of shame and fear for me. I still don’t like to talk about it much and I think it’s something I’ve not fully dealt with in my own head.

The good news is that the man who did it is now in prison. Going through the court hearings was traumatic and what made it more difficult to bear was that my dad was no longer there to support me through it. My mum had to get clean to take me to the hearings, but she got back on the drugs soon after. This was the final straw in our relationship and we don’t speak anymore. We didn’t have a big falling out or anything as she just wouldn’t admit she was doing anything wrong, so I had to take myself out of the relationship for my own well-being. I feel incredibly let down by her, she was supposed to be my mum.

Alongside all of this happening I found myself homeless. As I couldn’t stay with my Dad anymore I bounced between my sisters for a number of months but I never had anywhere settled to live. I didn’t even have a bed. I was sofa surfing.

My sisters both had young children and their flats were overcrowded. I felt like I had to be quiet all the time as it was their house and I was in the way. There was a lot of tension between us and this was making my mental health suffer. I realise now I was feeling depressed and had no confidence in myself. I think all the major events that had been happening were catching up with me and I was starting to feel desperate for something to change. If I hadn’t found YMCA I think I would’ve started to lose hope.

When I first arrived at YMCA I was feeling nervous, but I was warmly welcomed and everyone has been really lovely. Finally having a safe place to stay where I could properly grieve for my Dad and start working through my past traumas was exactly what I needed. I felt like I could start building a life for myself.

The main way my life has changed since I arrived here is that I now have a job which I am really enjoying. YMCA were able to support me with job applications and interview prep and I am now working as a welfare assistant in a primary school. One day I want to become a teaching assistant so it’s good I can get my foot in the door here. It’s made me feel a sense of achievement that I am earning my own money and I am working with children which is what I’ve always wanted to do.

I’m feeling a lot more independent already. There has just been a communal kitchen built downstairs so I can now attend sessions on meal planning and cooking. YMCA are also teaching us more about how to shop and how to budget, which is obviously going to be important with all the prices going up.

I’d say I’m definitely more confident since arriving here. YMCA staff treat you well and with respect. They are constantly supporting you to build you up instead of tearing you down. This was has been exactly what I needed after the traumatic experiences I’ve gone through over the last few years. Without YMCA I’m not sure where I’d be. It was horrible to feel like I was intruding on someone’s home at my sisters’, but I really didn’t have anywhere else to go. Maybe I’d still be sofa surfing or perhaps I’d be sleeping on a park bench now.

I’m still not speaking with my mum and not much with my sisters, so I am missing having a close family member. I’m remaining positive though and am looking forward to my future. Next year I’m focusing my energy on getting an apprenticeship so I can work towards becoming a teaching assistant. I know I can lean on my friends and my support network at YMCA and I am so thankful for Roomsponsors like you. You’ve given me access to the safe place I needed to get my life back on track and focus on myself.

Kind regards,
Ally