Meet Peter

Hi Roomsponsor,

I’m Peter and I’m 24 years old. After some challenging years I came to stay at YMCA and I wanted to tell you how much my life has changed.

When I was a young child I wasn’t really aware of what was going on, but looking back I can see there were some issues that we needed support with as a family. My mum had some mental health difficulties bubbling underneath the surface that I couldn’t recognise at the time. I think it’s something she struggled with for a long time and it definitely has impacted my own mental health.

I started realising this after I finished school. I went to university to study maths and physics. My mum had always suffered for as long as I could remember with diabetes and a couple of other physical conditions, but it was around this time her mental health took a bad turn too.

I spent a lot of time back at home to care for her, but she wouldn’t accept my help. Every time I reached out she would push me away. I lost count of the number of times she said she was disowning me for various reasons, which was hard to hear but I still believe she was just in a bad headspace. On top of this, she was also a hoarder and constantly brought things into the flat so it was just a complete mess. I had to clean everything up even though I was busy trying to get through university, but to be honest it felt like an impossible task.

During these months I was feeling incredibly frustrated and sad. I could see that my mum was suffering and I felt responsible for her wellbeing, but I wasn’t able to help. This had a serious impact on our relationship.

By the time I was taking my exams during my third year at university, I was so stressed at home that I was only getting one hour of sleep a night. Regrettably, I ended up failing that year of university. It was too much for me to balance at such a young age. This really knocked my confidence and made me feel like everything I’d been working towards was for nothing. I lost my motivation.

The next few months were the hardest of my whole life. My mum was at her lowest point and she attempted suicide more than once. It was so hard for me to see the person I loved most go through that.

I’m so thankful that I was always there at the time to call an ambulance, but I remember being so terrified that it would be the last time I’d see her. Even after so many years, my mind goes back to those moments constantly and I think that maybe I could’ve done more to help her, but I know I did all that I could. She was admitted to hospital after this and then moved into a care home. This was the last I heard about her anyway as she has stopped talking to me now entirely.

Afterwards, I had no way of paying for anything and no where I could stay. I slept at mum’s flat for about three weeks, but to be honest, I was only able to come in and out because the police had to bust down the door when she had attempted suicide. I remember being fearful at night staying in a flat that wasn’t secure and feeling very lonely being there all alone. I kept reminding myself that my mum’s health issues were more pressing than where I would live, so I didn’t really process the idea that I was homeless at the time.

I knew I couldn’t stay where I was for much longer, but didn’t know where else I could go. It was either stay at the flat for as long as I could or be out on the streets. I started searching for options and someone told me if I had nowhere to live YMCA could provide me with accommodation.

When I arrived at YMCA my mental health was not in a good place at all and I think I was still in shock from what had happened. Luckily all the staff here were really friendly and did everything they could to help me settle in. I was amazed that I was offered my own self-contained flat; I never thought I’d end up living in a space like this when I first called up and said I was homeless.

Once I had settled down here my support worker helped me access mental health services including counselling. It was this support that helped me make steps to come to terms with what had happened to my mum and accept that I had done all I could to help her. I often thought about her and how she was coping, but she still refused to speak to me.

Since the beginning, YMCA has supported me with everything from budgeting to job applications. During the pandemic, I was able to get more involved with the organisation and was approached to be the Resident Rep. As part of the role, I represent our residents at events and I attend meetings to discuss how things can be improved at our YMCA. It’s made me feel good to get to know the organisation better and see that I’m making a positive difference for other residents.

As a result of this support, I’m feeling much more positive and am starting to plan for my future. I was able to move on and focus on myself for once. I’m currently working part time but I’m hoping soon I can get a full-time position and have even started thinking about moving out of YMCA to get my own place.

Arriving at YMCA couldn’t have come at a better time. Without this place I would’ve been completely homeless, without a job or a support network of any kind. Being here has allowed me the space to save some money, learn life skills and most importantly to improve my mental health. I feel so much more independent and equipped to deal with what lies ahead.

I would recommend YMCA to any young person who has found themselves homeless. More importantly, I also want to say such a huge thank you for being a Roomsponsor. Thanks to people like you, YMCA can continue to offer life changing support to other young people like me.

Kind regards,

Peter